Sexy Little Helper
No Longer in Your Dreams
Hello Friends,
When I was a kid, I used to watch a show called I Dream of Jeannie. I’m sure a lot of you know this show—an astronaut finds a genie in a bottle, and then, mayhem ensues.
As a young boy, how could I not love this show? It was about an astronaut during a time when I had actually seen men walking on the moon.
It also featured a trope I wouldn’t fully appreciate until some years later when I was going through adolescence—a scantily clad woman trapped in a jar who would obey my every whim.
Fast forward to last week in Las Vegas at the annual Consumer Electronics Show.
For the uninitiated, CES is the largest consumer electronics event of the year. Every company with anything electronic demonstrates it there in full Vegas flash and style. It is absolutely a vision of the future.
If you were in attendance, you would have gotten a first sneak peek at all the new phones, household appliances, televisions, gaming systems, personal robots, and anything else that you could wish to own in the coming months.
You would have also seen the latest in AI products—an AI desk companion, essentially a waifu (virtual anime girlfriend) in a bottle.
Imagine ChatGPT that you can talk to and get to ogle over while conversing.
Now, to be fair, the avatar can also transform into a hot guy friend.
Watch the video:
There are actually two companies, Razer and Lepro, who are offering these products, Ava and Ami, respectively.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… these things seem ripe to be relegated to some teenager’s basement. (You were thinking that, right?)
Yet, weirdness happens when we anthropomorphize an object (give it a name) that makes it hard to let go. In I Dream of Jeannie, Tony eventually realizes that he loves Jeannie and marries her.
Today, people are entering into relationships and marrying their AI chatbots. And these are text-based entities, simple chat messages between humans and a computer program. And we’ve all heard more tragic stories of chats gone horribly wrong.
I don’t see anything inherently evil with these devices—they are kind of cool, overly-supportive, affirming to a fault.
I was a very early adopter of Alexa. I initially saw it as a voice-activated interface to a coming slew of home-automation products: smart lights, A/C and heat controls, a household music command center, and more yet-to-be-invented appliances of the future.
Over time, it devolved into a clunky (not obeying me), often useless, corporate spy that would randomly try to sell me Amazon services. It revealed itself to be an annoying sheep in wolf’s clothing. A spy for the corporate advertising machine.
My wife and I started noticing products showing up in our searches on our computers and phones that we only mentioned in our conversations in our own home when Alexa was supposedly not listening.
As someone who spent years working for digital advertising companies, I knew this was at least possible. And an absolute honeypot for advertisers.
Companies have been manipulating people to get profitable information for years.
Imagine if Jeannie were a Soviet space agency spy. Tony lovingly invited her into his bedroom.
In the world we live in today, we must assume that every conversation a person has with an AI is captured, recorded, and potentially monitored. This isn’t being paranoid. This is reality. The paranoia is that the listeners are after you.
These new products are more innocent-looking, smarter, and even more connected than the previous non-animated systems. They are constantly watching, monitoring your activity—both online and IRL (if you give it permission to your phone). Eventually, they will learn what you like and need, and how to satisfy your desires.
Last year, we disconnected our Alexa and threw it in a closet. Over time, it found its way back into our lives (to turn lights on and off and answer the question, “What is the wind chill?” before we take our early morning winter walks).
Essentially, I gave up being concerned about being watched. A total lack of privacy is too pervasive to prevent.
For a time, I had a Flexcar lease. I ended that when it started sending me texts critiquing my driving.
For reals, this happened.
You try driving around Gloucester without slamming on your brakes at least twice.
Perhaps we need to be careful about what we invite into our homes. Unfortunately, like motivated sexy vampires, they’re going to get in.
Maybe they don’t have to look like children.
Happy reading and happy writing,
David